Together.

So I am in college and I have a plan. I graduate and I move to New York and I become rich and famous. Yea I understand that isn't what it will probably but the moving and the graduating are what the plan is right now. I look back at my life right now and am so proud of the man that I become, the trials I have gone through and how I have come up on top. But at what cost, I ran in to this kid this year, he is 18, and he has this energy and this zeal for life that I truly forgot about the life that I wanted when I was his age.He comes in adn he hass the same dreams that I had and he feels the same depth of emotion that I feel. He's has been told most of his life that he is so emotional like I have always been told and it seems that this kid has come into my life in the form of the result of all the other choices I should have made in life. Not saying he is better and not saying I regret the things that I did. I just don't understand how this other side coin could still be dealing with the same exact shit that I have dealt with in my past. It makes life seem so small and so hopeless not to the point of death but to the point where I feel so alone and it makes me want to have someone constantly tell me the world the anyone that we are together. Romantically, friendship-ally, family, neighborly, mentally, studenly, co-workely. I feel that all the relationships that I have had are just trying to fill this constant need to have people in my life because I just too damn scared to be alone and to not belong to something. Today was just overwhelming because i feel apart of something but I still have this void and can't right now make it specific enough to verbalize or write in words.

I want someone to hold me when I am alone. I want the person that I don't settle for the person I want and constantly become surprised. I want the person to be able to cut me down with honesty but also be able to stroke my ego a bit. I want those arms to be strong but I want them to be gentle. I want them to be used arms but soft. I want that person I can look at and just know that for the rest of my life it will be you and me. The whole fiber of me, my being, my love, my life, my art, my soul shakes with fear and excitement when you walk in the room.