Sleep.....3

I truly apologize for the last post maybe not being understandable I was tired after a long night at the bar. My soul was made to party what can I say. :-)

I went out for a friends birthday last night. He is a very attractive man in my eyes but he is a complete douche bag. I can't stand they way he treats women. I don't think he understands that what he does has any effect on the world around him. It is like he is in his bubble and nothing exists outside of it. I can relate to him in a way cause I used to have the thought process of me being the star of a t.v show and it was all about me. I do still have this from time to time. The question that comes up is why stay there, in that world of one. When I get out of that world I am so happy to look around and see everyone. So this guy is so selfish he has a girlfriend or a friend that is calling herself a girlfriend and acting like a girlfriend of his but apparently he hasn't told her otherwise. He thinks that this relationship isn't anything but a fling. The way this man, and I use the term man only because he has a penis and has gone through puberty, acts in public is like a viking ready to rape and pillage a town of women. Now, he is not a rapist but he looks at people at what they can give him and he uses his craft, acting, as an excuse to continue to do this. First off this is appalling that he would do this and second douche bag. that is all I can really say. I have this friend that he is obsessed with making out with and she came up as well with a new look on life and the things she wants and doesn't want. He was trying to get on her all night and she was not having it. The other fact is that he spent 27 hours with a the girl that his "girlfriend" and doesn't that somewhat mean that 'hey I am in a relationship with you and don't wanna leave your side.' I just don't get it. What makes me confused about him is how comfortable with him I am. I can tell him anything and do anything with him I love him. I do. He is a just a guy that I would talk about my dreams and my life with and not feel judged or anything. This type of love that he has taught me is new and confusing. How can someone love someone but hate what they do. I just don't get it. The heart knows what it loves and mine just wants the world to be filled with love.

Life.....2

So I am very bad at keeping up with this writing everyday. but it is my goal to have 365 stories about people.

So this guy saw him in a bar, he was built rock solid. He was a black god that I crave to see under the tight white shirt he wears. His arms were the size of my head no joke and my body was craving him. All parts of him the things that ran thourgh my head were wrong and yet so so right. A man's body when taken care of is a work of art....it is beautiful and rich with creases and shadow. The thing about this black man that attracted me so was the fact that i know he took care of himself. He liked himself and was proud to be in the skin he has. Some people say that Love is not sex...sex is just that sex, that is wrong. People will never have a sexuall encounter with out love and evidence to this is guilt.

The Story of why.... 1

I wanted to start a blog. This blog is for the people of the world to find love. To discuss love to discuss their love for love or their hatred for it. I have many opinions and I have lots of stories, one constant in my life has been love. This is my goal for my life: I want to be more honest and I can start that here, I want to be more in the moment with the world, and I want to be less bitter toward people. Each day I will write of someone. A heart that has touched me. It may be long or it maybe short but the heart and soul is what I see and what I will write.

Today I spoke with this friend of mine. She is one of the most unselfish pepole I know. I see alot of my self in her. The problem is she is annoying i can't stand her the way she feels she has to do things, she has to be helpful but no one would can help her. I don't know what todo I find myself getting angry toward her just to be able to manipulate what comes out of her. Is that love...I mean can it be a friendship love can it be something else I don't know. Later today...as in 2 in the morning I went for a drive. I find nature something that makes a fire burn inside of me and life springs forward. I love life...I love the beauty that is around me. The cool air the bright stars are all I need the laughter of fiends. Now I am falling asleep with a heart that is calmed and open.

To love is to hate, to hate is to love. One in the same but so different.