I had this blog and was trying to find a way to write. I wrote an entry and it all made sense. These are the letters of my life.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Pictures of the past
I look at my photo albums and I just don't understand how this change so drastically. Recently, as in as I am writing, i have been looking through photos of my past. It kinda hurts to watch them pass by knowing that that is what they are memories passed by. I will never get them back but I know that I have had them. Truly it hurts cause there is a friend of mine that I truly do care about and I know that I will never get the relationship back that we once had. Or the one I thought we had judging by his reactions to who I am now. I t just hurts knowing that something was very sacred and something was very pure but one choice one decision makes it all go down the tube. It is kinda like acting. When you are a character it is all about choices and what you make and is it the strongest choice. How does one know they are making the "strongest choice" in life until it is out of them and chosen. It is interesting to me the more I delve into the life of being an actor the more my everyday life seems to be filled with reminders of things I have learned. The thing to do is look at them as opportunities not as acting and life are identical. In my head now however is the slideshow of pictures of my friend and me wanting it to be back how it was and not how it is. I need to breathe that in and realize that it is the present right now and not the past. Deal with how it is now and the actions and reactions that are placed in front of me now. This life is something I want to experience finally and not just sit back and be passive about it.
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