To whom it may concern,
This will be short but the words are ones that I have fought to tell you for a long long time. You I love you. You I hate you. I can't believe after all this time the thought of you still gives me a visceral response in my body. I don't understand why but I am not ignoring it but I am trying to keep you comfortable. I hope you are well. I miss you.
Sincerely,
Will always love you
Friday, October 1, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Sorry?
To whom it may concern,
Today I got told about how I make you feel bad in class. I am sorry for making you feel like I would make fun of you. Apparently I have been overly sarcastic and making remarks like that but please just say something to me. I am not a scary person and I will listen to what you have to say. Please though listen to my side of this story. I don't see it I got told that this isn't me this isn't how I act normally and I don't understand that. I have always been a sarcastic ass and said things in that manner but I never mean to hurt with them. If you are a close friend why won't you just tell me you can just say something to me. If you are an acquaintance I am truly sorry we do not know each other well enough but know that all you have to do is say something. The thing that hurts the most I guess is the fact that you told someone that I trust with my whole being and this person agreed. This person said I was kinda making her annoyed but it seemed in her eyes I was hurting her as well in a way. I have been through a lot and maybe possible this is a way of distancing myself from you all, not just the parties mentioned. I don't like good byes and to be honest I don't know how to handle them.....well I refuse to handle them in an adult way. I think they are something in life that happens early, you aren't dying so why in the world should i say we will never see each other again. In the depths of my being that is the problem I just don't want to get close so I pretend to be invested which is sarcastic. In the long run you have kinda fucked with the perception of myself. I thought I was doing good, being me and acting well and not to judgmental and abrasive towards people. I will watch myself too carefully now but please look to yourself as well and ask what mood where you in when you said that. Stressed, tired, or worse. I am truly a good guy and don't mean anything harmful with what I say unless I intend it, and if you fall in that you will know. I guess all I will say is that I will try for myself to be more open about the fear I have with leaving this place and the relationships I have gained but if I am sarcastic, which I know I am, but truly my life is based around love.
Sincerely,
A confused man
Today I got told about how I make you feel bad in class. I am sorry for making you feel like I would make fun of you. Apparently I have been overly sarcastic and making remarks like that but please just say something to me. I am not a scary person and I will listen to what you have to say. Please though listen to my side of this story. I don't see it I got told that this isn't me this isn't how I act normally and I don't understand that. I have always been a sarcastic ass and said things in that manner but I never mean to hurt with them. If you are a close friend why won't you just tell me you can just say something to me. If you are an acquaintance I am truly sorry we do not know each other well enough but know that all you have to do is say something. The thing that hurts the most I guess is the fact that you told someone that I trust with my whole being and this person agreed. This person said I was kinda making her annoyed but it seemed in her eyes I was hurting her as well in a way. I have been through a lot and maybe possible this is a way of distancing myself from you all, not just the parties mentioned. I don't like good byes and to be honest I don't know how to handle them.....well I refuse to handle them in an adult way. I think they are something in life that happens early, you aren't dying so why in the world should i say we will never see each other again. In the depths of my being that is the problem I just don't want to get close so I pretend to be invested which is sarcastic. In the long run you have kinda fucked with the perception of myself. I thought I was doing good, being me and acting well and not to judgmental and abrasive towards people. I will watch myself too carefully now but please look to yourself as well and ask what mood where you in when you said that. Stressed, tired, or worse. I am truly a good guy and don't mean anything harmful with what I say unless I intend it, and if you fall in that you will know. I guess all I will say is that I will try for myself to be more open about the fear I have with leaving this place and the relationships I have gained but if I am sarcastic, which I know I am, but truly my life is based around love.
Sincerely,
A confused man
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)